


Mr. Snugglepuff at the Auction

by the_devil_has_three_heads



Category: Spies Are Forever - Talkfine/Tin Can Brothers
Genre: Curtwen, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:18:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24304993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_devil_has_three_heads/pseuds/the_devil_has_three_heads
Summary: Upon investigating a fishy auctioneer, Curt encounters an old friend.
Relationships: Owen Carvour/Agent Curt Mega
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	Mr. Snugglepuff at the Auction

**Author's Note:**

> This was written on a whim so there is probably a lot of historical inaccuracies and out of character moments but to be honest I don't really care, and it was my sister who forced me to upload this so if anything you should blame her. It's just a crack fic one shot anyway so, ya.

Curt was sent to What Cheer, Iowa by Cynthia to find this guy who was rumoured to be selling drugs through paintings and various knick knacks at auctions. Completely coincidentally, Owen was also there investigating a similar situation. At the moment, they were seated at a table watching the auction for the item that might have the drugs.

“And this piece of shit,” shouted the auctioneer towards the audience, “is an old ass bunny plush doll that some bitch in America sold to me for a dollar. Now I’m raising the–the price a little bit and bidding starts at uhhhhhhhh three dollars.”

The audience groaned. The auctioneer and most of the audience were clearly both drunk and high at the same time, so the prices were considered exorbitantly high. Such as this stuffed bunny doll, now at the high price of three dollars. No one wanted it except Curt, whose eyes widened an extraordinary amount.

“Mr. Snugglepuff! I knew he didn’t go to bunny heaven, Mom just sold him to this asshole!”

Owen stared in confusion. “Mr. Snugglepuff? Curt, what on earth are you talking about?”

“Mr. Snugglepuff, he was the last thing my father left for me before he… actually I don't know what happened to my dad. But he gave it to me and it was the only gift I had from him. Except I guess mom thought I was getting too old for it so she took it from me while I was sleeping. When I woke up she told me Mr. Snugglepuff hated me and ran outside but he slipped and fell into the gutter where a snake ate him so he went to bunny-heaven and–”

Owen slapped him. “Curt, if you want it I can get it for you.” He ignored Curt’s protests and put a hand on his mouth. “I don’t mind the price, it’s clear you’re very attached to this doll and I owe you for the time you bought me chebureki in Russia after that one case so…” 

He yelled up at the auctioneer. “I’ll take it for three dollars.” 

The auctioneer eyed him with interest. “Are you sure? Is no one else going to take it? Alright you can have it.”

Owen paid and walked back to the table with the doll. “Here you go, Curt.”

Curt took it and squeezed it. “Mr. Snugglepuff! I missed you–why do you smell like cocaine?”

A card fell out of a hole in the fabric and landed on the floor. Owen picked it up.

“Blimey!” He exclaimed. “This is the business card of the drug dealer we’ve been looking for! If this is here, then…”

Curt reached into the hole in the fabric and attempted to pull out the stuffing, but instead of fluff, all he could find was lots and lots of cocaine.

“Holy shit! Mr. Snugglepuff, what have you been doing? As soon as this is over I’m getting you to rehab!”

Owen rolled his eyes. 

“I’m kidding, the auctioneer is definitely the drug dealer.” Curt smiled at Owen. “Let’s bust his ass.”

\---

The auctioneer turned out to be the drug dealer, Curt and Owen busted his business and got him and his posse sent to jail. Curt and Owen strolled down the street to the hotel they were staying at.

“Hey.” Curt turned to Owen. “Thanks for buying Mr. Snugglepuff for me. If you hadn’t we might have taken a much longer time to figure out it was the auctioneer. Do I owe you the three dollars?”

Owen gave him a reassuring pat on the back. “You don’t need to pay me back, love. I told you this was already payment for the chebureki. If you didn’t force feed it to me, the poisoned dart the Russians put in my leg would have surely killed me.”

They laughed together. 

“Wait, you had a dart in your leg?”


End file.
